I'm not sure when it happened. I'm not sure when the days began to blur into one giant blob of rejection letters, stressful work meetings, and body pain. Yes, to all the pain. Back pain, hip pain, eye pain (no doubt from staring at the computer screen too long), but fuck. Fuck, man. This adulthood thing has its supreme disadvantages, but then what good is complaining? What good is ruminating on how much more difficult your life is than that of Mr. X or Mrs. Y? Yup, we’re going into the dark place, folks. The poor me place.
See when I get overwhelmed like I am currently, when I am just in the shitter, I've realized that there is a simple, effective trick to re-setting my mood. The re-set comes by focusing on the small things in my life that I am utterly thankful for. Of course I could focus on the grand gift of life, being alive, being healthy, being engaged to an insanely amazing man, having the most supportive family and friends in the world, being a good writer, owning a dog with saucer eyes who makes me melt with a baby head tilt - sure, all of those are big, mamajama things I am the most grateful for. However, when I'm too anxious to process the big things, I can more easily adjust my attitude by focusing on the small. Then subsequently indulging in the small.
For example, if I loved bubble baths, I would concentrate on putting together the most luscious bath and then I would soak in it. So yes. Here are a few itsy bitsy things that I love to indulge in when I am feeling beyond STRESSED OUT, and that help me get back to my place of yes:
1. PIZZA! Yeah dude, that's right. I don't at all consider pizza empty calories, because the warmth and sublime happiness I experience when stuffing my mouth with cheesy pepperoni laden goodness is just so damn rewarding. I would prefer to have an extra jiggle in my junk for eternity versus looking like Kate Hudson but missing out on fucking pizza.
2. Sephora. During periods of immense personal and professional frustration, I have been known to circle the Sephora aisles relentlessly until I've chosen a brand new skincare product to test out on my finicky skin. This private ritual in which I blow off all the Sephora sales associates, and moisturize my knuckles with several different creams is deeply soothing to me. I don't mind spending the standard $50 that is synonymous with a Sephora purchase, because it makes me feel better. It's my money, it's my skin, and I feel better because of the binge.
3. Draino. IT IS A MIRACLE PRODUCT THAT MAKES YOUR SHOWER INFINITELY IMPROVED. USING THIS PRODUCT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A DRAIN NINJA. YOU CAN FIX ANYTHING! I MEAN YOU BOUGHT DRAINO?! YOU KNOW HOW TO PROBLEM SOLVE!
4. Joss and Main. Online curated flash sales for furniture and decor?! Like hello, gorgeous. I can buy candelabras in the shape of frogs, rugs knit by the Greeks themselves, and impeccable purple linens - and all at a very reasonable price! OR if I don't want to spend money, I can just troll the site for hours accumulating the vast supply of decorating tips provided. My apartment has gone from a weak 4 to a solid 7.5 because of all the time I've spent on Joss and Main. I'm confident a 10 will come eventually.
5. Baggy sweaters. It's my happy place. Just roaming around inside an oversized sweater. There's nothing better. Drop a few crackers down there? No worries. You don't even feel it. The sweater should be so comfortable and so large you could literally store three porcupines in there and not bat an eyelash. They could have fucking afternoon tea in there. That's how big the sweater should be to achieve total cozy time.
6. Sending a pointed, sort of superior email. Okay, you need to be careful with this one, because you are absolutely walking a fine line. So the number one condition that must be present in order to send this email is that the recipient must deserve it. The second condition is that you must not lose your cool, because then you will look like a crazy person and the passive-aggressive understated bitchy rationale of your response will quickly dissolve. An example: let's say you've constantly taken the high road when it comes to your “friend” Lauren's not so subtle digs at your life choices. Let's say in the latest email in a series of emails, she writes: Oh, well when John and I bought a home, we did a 15-year mortgage instead of a 5-year. In our opinion, a 5-year just felt too reckless, but that's just us! Of course this is her response after you've told her that you’ve indeed opted for a 5-year mortgage. So in this case, an appropriate reply to Lauren would be: Totally hear you, Laur. I guess we're just in the fortunate position where we only need 5 years to pay off the house, but that's just us! Lunch soon? Xoxoxo
I MEAN. That feels fucking great. Nonetheless, only indulge in one of those if the opportunity truly arises, and if you can craft a response that will put a sock in the person, but not incite WWlll. It's hardly an actual step towards re-setting your attitude, but it will in fact remind you that you're so much more with it and down to earth than this frenemy of yours. Knowing this, your mood should start lifting immediately.
7. Sleep! Catching some zzZzZz is the best possible way to feel better about a semi-difficult few weeks. It's the simplest way to recharge your batteries, and wake-up with a fresh perspective. Sleep definitely helps me realign my shakras, quell my Negative Nancy voices, and get my feisty back.
So there you have it! 7 small indulgences that personally help me re-set my mood. Perhaps you'd like to try them, or perhaps you have 7 of your own. Perhaps you are always happy and never get bogged down in your own wallowing shit, and if that's true - I salute you, and want to meet you. Seriously, that's not sarcasm. You're amazing. However, the rest of us all go through a poor me period sometimes, and that's not a state we should linger in for too long. So these little tricks definitely help me, and maybe they'll help you too! I mean at the very least, buy Draino. It is actually a miracle.